Epidurals can make labour and delivery a smoother experience, but for some, they come with unexpected complications. In this article, I share my personal journey through a postpartum epidural headache, the steps I took to find relief, and practical advice for managing recovery while caring for a newborn and toddler. If you’re navigating similar pain, this story might provide the insights and reassurance you need.
Please note that this article is based on my personal experiences and is for informational purposes only. It is not medical advice, as I am not a healthcare professional. Additionally, this article contains affiliate links. If you click on a link and make a purchase, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
From Intense Contractions to Epidural Relief: A Pain-Free Delivery
By the time I reached the hospital on a Wednesday evening at 6 PM, my contractions were intense—just one minute apart and lasting almost as long. I had waited a bit too long to head to the hospital, but I managed to breathe through the waves as my husband, Jeff, handled all the check-in admin. In the back of my mind, I held onto one thought: relief was on the horizon—an epidural.
This wasn’t my first rodeo, so I stayed calm and focused, managing the pain until the anesthesiologist arrived. Just 30 minutes later, I received the epidural. But this one was different—it felt much stronger than the one I had for my first child. So strong that I felt like I couldn't breathe. My body felt numb up to my chest, my lungs felt heavy, and I was shivering and nauseous.
Fortunately, the strong effects wore off after about an hour, and they moved me to my delivery room.
By 10 PM, it was go time. What followed was a dream birth: no pain, just 20 minutes of pushing, and incredible support from the amazing nurses, my doctor, and Jeff. I was able to fully focus on my baby boy and the golden hour we spent bonding—it was a moment of pure bliss.
The Unexpected Ache: When Postpartum Pain Feels Different
After the epidural wore off, I noticed a headache paired with shoulder and upper back pain. It felt strange—unlike any headache I’d ever experienced. The pain was significant when I was sitting up in bed, which I often was to nurse my baby every two hours. It worsened when I walked around.
Jeff and I thought I might have sprained my upper back during delivery. I told the nurses about the headache and asked for painkillers. They gave me a combination of 1,000 mg paracetamol and 500 mg mefenamic acid every 4–6 hours. I tried to stay in bed as much as possible.
After another night in the hospital, I felt better. By Friday at noon, I was ready to go home. When the nurses asked if I still had a headache, I said no. I felt fine—or so I thought.
Back Home: What is this Postpartum Headache?
Coming home was emotional. I was thrilled to reunite with my two-year-old daughter, J, who had never spent a night away from me until then. The moment she wrapped her tiny arms around my neck, tears streamed down my face. I hugged her tightly, realising just how much I had missed being able to hold her like this—something my big belly during pregnancy had made impossible.
But the bliss didn’t last long. By evening, the headache and upper back pain returned. Even with painkillers, the discomfort was intense and relentless, making even the simplest tasks feel difficult. The birth pains and breast engorgement that I had braced myself for felt trivial in comparison. I couldn’t sit upright without a terrible dull pain in my head and a pulling ache in my upper back and shoulders. Nursing, which I had expected to be a peaceful routine, became a painful task.
At first, I thought it might be a lingering strain from delivery. But something didn’t add up—every time I lay flat, the pain eased, offering a temporary reprieve. Determined to make sense of my symptoms, I turned to research. That’s when I began to piece it together: I had an epidural headache, also known as spinal headache.
What Is a Spinal Headache?
An epidural headache, also called a post-dural puncture headache, happens when the epidural needle punctures the dura—the thin layer that surrounds the spinal cord. This creates a cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) leak, lowering the pressure in the brain and spinal cord.
Symptoms often include:
A headache that worsens when sitting or standing and improves when lying flat
Neck stiffness or upper back pain
Nausea and sensitivity to light
It’s a rare complication, but not unheard of in epidurals. I remembered that during my labour, my epidural had gone into deeper layers, numbing my entire body more than intended. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, but now it all started to make sense.
A blood patch is a common treatment for a post-dural puncture headache caused by spinal fluid leakage. In this procedure, a small amount of your own blood is drawn (usually from your arm) and injected into the epidural space near the puncture site. The blood forms a clot, sealing the hole in the dura and stopping the spinal fluid leak.
Deciding How to Proceed and Manage the CSF Leak
On Saturday, I spent hours scouringing Reddit threads, blog posts, and hospital websites. I didn't find a lot of postpartum-specific experiences. The most helpful piece of information I found came from a mom who shared her postpartum experience on her blog. She explained that it took her two weeks for the headache to resolve on its own, which gave me some perspective on the timeline if I chose to wait it out.
Much of the information I found helpful wasn’t specific to postpartum cases but focused on post-dural punctures after surgeries. On Reddit forums, people shared their experiences with blood patches, many of whom found instant relief after the procedure. Several mentioned complications, such as the blood patch becoming dislodged and requiring them to repeat the procedure—some even multiple times. Hospital websites provided clear explanations of what post-dural puncture headaches are and offered general advice, but resources addressing postpartum challenges, particularly with breastfeeding and recovery, were limited.
Breastfeeding and building a milk supply are challenging enough under healthy circumstances, let alone with a debilitating epidural headache. I knew my ability to nurse my baby and care for my toddler would suffer if I tried to tough it out. So I made my decision: I needed a blood patch as soon as possible.
But my gynecologist’s office was closed for the weekend. We also didn’t have any help that weekend as our nanny was off from Saturday afternoon and we don't have family in Singapore. I felt guilty leaving Jeff alone with both kids to go to emergency care, and honestly, I didn’t know how I could navigate emergency care on my own without any support. So I powered through the weekend, determined to hold out until Monday.
Caffeine and a Massage to alleviate Pain
After learning that coffee might help with an epidural headache, I drank a moderate amount. In Singapore, health authorities recommend that breastfeeding mothers limit their caffeine intake to less than 200 mg per day, equivalent to about one to two cups of coffee. The caffeine provided mild relief, which, based on what I’ve read, apparently works by tightening the blood vessels in the brain. When a dural puncture causes spinal fluid to leak, it lowers the pressure in the brain and spine, which seems to cause the blood vessels in the brain to expand and contribute to the headache. Caffeine, apparently, helps by narrowing these blood vessels, which can ease the pain somewhat. While it didn’t resolve the underlying issue, it did help a little bit.
Jeff also arranged a one-hour massage in our home on Sunday with a therapist who used electrotherapy. The results were great—it gave me about three hours of relief, enough to breastfeed and help care for J. Those short reprieves felt like lifesavers.
Still, the pain lingered, and a few hours after the massage, it felt debilitating again. I counted the hours until Monday.
The Blood Patch: Instant Relief
First thing Monday morning, I called my gynecologist’s office and asked for a blood patch. They booked me an appointment for 5 PM that day. Jeff came with me, bringing baby K for his pediatric check-up at the same hospital.
After a bit of a wait, the same anesthesiologist who had administered my epidural explained my options: I could try caffeine pills and painkillers and wait for the lumbar puncture to heal on its own—a process that could take up to two weeks or longer—or I could proceed with a blood patch.
I was certain—I wanted the blood patch. The procedure took about 30 minutes. It wasn’t easy for me; I’m terrified of needles, and lying perfectly still on my side felt like a major test of courage. But I knew it was worth it if it meant recovering more quickly.
In total, I spent around five hours at the hospital, and the bill came to $2,199 SGD (Thomson Hospital). Fortunately, my insurance covered it. Without that coverage, I would have seriously reconsidered getting the procedure.
Recovery: A Slow, Careful Process
After the procedure, I spent three hours in observation, while my thoughts were racing with questions: Would the patch hold? Would the headache return? I couldn’t fully relax, even as I lay in bed with a sandwich and hot Milo. I knew I should have taken the opportunity to rest and enjoy the rare me-time, but instead, I found myself scrolling through every bit of information I could find online about blood patch recovery and what to expect in the coming days.
Recovery from a blood patch generally involves taking it easy for the first 24–48 hours. Most people experience significant relief from the headache shortly after the procedure, but mild soreness at the injection site is common for a few days. It’s crucial to avoid heavy lifting, bending, twisting, or strenuous activities during that time to prevent dislodging the patch. Full healing typically takes about one to two weeks, as the puncture site gradually seals naturally.
The ride home that night was nerve-wracking. Every bump in the taxi made me worry about dislodging the blood patch. Once home, I was put on strict bed rest for 24 hours. My lower back remained sore for days, and I was extra cautious to avoid lifting or bending.
How to Care for Your Newborn and Kids
During my epidural headache Jeff stepped in to care for both kids and me. He fed Baby K bottles with formula (although I was breastfeeding as much as I could) and handled the diaper changes. Our nanny A also played a pivotal role. On Saturday morning—the day after I got back from the hospital and was in unbearable pain—she took my two-year old to the zoo, giving us a quiet house for the morning so I could rest (and obsessively research everything I could about epidural headaches).
If you have a support system, lean into it during recovery. My husband Jeff and our nanny A stepped in ways I’ll always be grateful for, but I’m deeply aware of how fortunate I was to have this safety net. I understand that many mothers face these challenges without such a safety net, and my heart goes out to them. If you find yourself navigating this alone and don’t have access to professional help, even small gestures from friends, family, or local resources can make a difference.
What Helped Me Cope with the Spinal Headache
Coffee: A cup of strong coffee provided some mild relief from my post-dural puncture headache. If I had coffee pills on hand, I likely would have taken them, as they offer better control over caffeine dosage (recommended to limit intake to less than 200 mg per day while breastfeeding). You can conveniently order 200mg tablets by Allmax on Shopee with next-day delivery available. I looked up the ingredients, and they appear to be be safe for breastfeeding. If you are in the US, you can order the Allmax caffeine tablets on Amazon with same-day delivery here.
If you prefer starting with a smaller caffeine dosage, consider NUUN Sport Hydration Tablets with Caffeine, also available on Shopee with next-day delivery. Each dose contains 40 mg of caffeine derived from organic green tea, and these tablets are primarily aimed at hydration, which is especially beneficial in our situation. If you are in the US, you can order the NUUN Hydration Tablets on Amazon with same-day delivery here.
Pain killers: I alternated between 1,000 mg paracetamol and 500 mg mefenamic acid every 4–6 hours. If you’re taking medications, consult your doctor to ensure they’re safe and to ask about stomach protection options.
Electrotherapy Massage: Gave me short but valuable pain-free windows. If this service is available and affordable to you, it may be worth considering.
Support: Jeff and our nanny stepped in to manage childcare and household tasks. If you don’t have this kind of support, consider reaching out to a friend or neighbor or looking into postpartum care resources in your area.
Tips for Those Without Support
If you’re navigating this alone, here are some strategies that might help:
Limit Movement: Staying horizontal is key to managing the pain from an epidural headache. The more time you can spend lying flat, the better—this helps reduce the pressure on your spine and may lessen the severity of the headache.
Simplify Meals: Stock up on easy-to-eat snacks or pre-prepared meals. Hydration is critical, so keep a spill-proof water bottle within reach, such as the Munchkin Miracle 360 available on Shopee . If you are in the US, you can order the Munchkin Miracle 360 on Amazon here.
Delegate When Possible: If you can, lean on friends, family, or neighbors for even small tasks like picking up groceries, preparing meals, or watching your children for a couple of hours.
Keep Essentials Nearby: Arrange everything you need—like diapers, wipes, bottles, and feeding supplies—within arm's reach of your bed to minimize movement.
Seek Community Support: Explore local parent groups, online forums, or community services. Sometimes even a brief conversation with a supportive peer can provide encouragement.
Do not repeat my mistake: Practise Self-Advocacy at the Hospital and During Recovery
In hindsight, I should have asked more questions before being discharged from the hospital. Looking back, it’s clear that the nurses and doctor knew I had an epidural headache, but they didn’t explain it to me. Because of this, I was entirely unaware of the condition and its implications. Had I been better informed, I could have been more prepared for what was coming and known how to manage the situation more effectively.
For mothers navigating postpartum care without guidance or a strong support system, self-advocacy can feel overwhelming. It’s not easy, especially when you’re in pain or exhausted. If you’re unable to advocate for yourself, consider having a partner or friend speak up on your behalf. It’s also okay to revisit the hospital or consult medical professionals if you feel something isn’t right—trust your instincts.
At home, I spent as much time as possible lying flat in bed, but I was still up and about more than I should have been. I tried sitting up for meals, breastfeeding, and meeting the needs of my two-year-old. Instead, I should have limited myself to only the most essential tasks and allowed my body the rest it desperately needed, rather than pushing through and enduring all that suffering. The combination of an epidural headache and the inability to care for myself or my loved ones was, inevitably, a traumatic experience.
Let Go of Mommy Guilt
My advice? Work on accepting the situation and your temporary inability to function as you normally would. It’s incredibly difficult, especially when you’re used to being the caregiver, but pushing yourself beyond your limits can make things harder—not only for you but for the people trying to help. If you have support, focus on providing emotional clarity and communication to those around you. Your support system may not fully understand the debilitating nature of an epidural headache unless you explain it clearly. They might need encouragement, reassurance, or guidance on how best to help.
Looking back, I regret not doing this sooner. My inability to fully accept my limitations made it harder for my support system—especially my husband—to grasp the severity of my condition. I was constantly trying to explain how much pain I was in, while simultaneously pushing myself to function. This created a disconnect and added strain to an already challenging situation.
This ordeal left a lasting emotional impact. Even after the physical pain subsided, I found myself carrying a deep fear: the anxiety of being unable to care for my children and loved ones. This anxiety hit me unexpectedly. I remember vividly how it surfaced even on the same day of receiving my blood patch. While I was in the taxi on my way home from the procedure, my husband texted me to let me know he needed to go to work for a few hours, followed by an ice hockey game on the following Thursday, which was only 3 days after my blood patch. The text wasn’t unreasonable, but I panicked. I burst into tears, overwhelmed by the thought of being left alone to care for our kids. I felt unprepared, both physically and emotionally, and guilty for needing so much help. At the same time, I felt bad for depending on others while still trying to mask how debilitating my condition truly was.
Had I taken the time to fully accept my limitations and communicate them clearly, I believe I could have better navigated this situation. Accepting my vulnerability might have allowed me to explain my needs more effectively and helped those supporting me to understand the gravity of my experience. Offering emotional support, expressing gratitude, and being specific about what I needed could have made things smoother—not just for me but for everyone involved.
This experience taught me the importance of asking questions, being informed, and accepting help without guilt. You’re not failing when you lean on others; you’re ensuring you recover fully so you can return to caring for your loved ones when you’re truly ready. If you’re a mother facing these challenges without financial resources, family support, or paid help, please know your resilience and strength are incredible. Even if your circumstances make this recovery harder, you’re doing your best—and that is enough.
Advice for Breastfeeding and Building Supply
Stay Hydrated
Hydration is key. A spill-proof water bottle that allowed me to drink comfortably while laying down was a game changer. Jeff got me the Munchkin Miracle 360 from Shopee, and it made a world of difference. It's still my bedside waterbottle to this day. If you are in the US, you can order the Munchkin Miracle 360 on Amazon here. I also drank plenty of 100 Plus and Hydralyte to keep my hydration levels up.
Pump in Bed
Pumping in bed was messy—I spilled a lot and cursed more than once—but I reminded myself that the goal wasn’t to provide milk for my newborn immediately. The goal was to build my supply. I also latched my toddler (who was almost weaned but enthusiastically returned to breastfeeding after realising mommy had milk again). My toddler was used to side-lying nursing, which helped immensely with building supply. Yes, I was tandem feeding. But that’s a whole other story.
Let Go of Breastfeeding Guilt
This period was a struggle, but I had to let go of the guilt and anxiety about not being able to breastfeed the way I wanted to. Instead, I worked on accepting the situation and building confidence that it could be fixed later. After my blood patch, my baby had already become accustomed to the bottle. It took me 4–6 weeks of patience and determination to get my baby comfortable with latching again without fussing.
If you’re in a similar situation, know that it’s okay if breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned. Pumping and bottle-feeding were personally challenging for me, but I have immense admiration for mothers who exclusively pump or use bottles. Every mother’s journey is unique, and there is no single 'right' way to feed your baby.
If you plan to transition back to breastfeeding
Here are a few tips:
Practice Paced Bottle Feeding: This helps prevent bottle preference and makes it easier for your baby to transition back to the breast. I educated myself through online research and shared the resources with Jeff and our nanny to ensure consistency.
Use a Breastfeeding-Friendly Bottle: Opt for a slow-flow nipple that mimics breastfeeding. We used the MAM Anti-Colic bottle available on Shopee, which worked well for us. In the US, it is available on Amazon with same-day delivery.
Closing Thoughts: One Step at a Time
Postpartum recovery is a deeply personal journey, and no two experiences are alike. Whether you’re navigating it with a strong support system or on your own, know that your resilience is extraordinary. Take it one step at a time—you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough.
Share Your Experience
If you’ve experienced a spinal headache or CSF leak, especially if you chose to wait for it to resolve on its own, please share your story in the comments section. Your insights and experiences could provide valuable support and guidance to others navigating similar challenges. Let’s learn from each other!
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